Body Image--Seeing Yourself with New Eyes

For starters, here is a little taste of opening night...

And now Sonya and I have a question to ask. How many women reading this have become so focused on certain parts of your bodies, that you have completely lost sight of your beauty? And men, have you forgotten that your true strength does not have anything to do with size?

Do you think of yourself as a:

- stubborn number on a weigh scale

- a collection of bulges, sags and dimples

- a lack of curves/muscles

- a size

You are not the sum of your parts. You are a whole person, uniquely and amazingly designed. Your body houses your spirit. It carries you through life. It expresses all of your emotions. It speaks your mind. It shows your love for others. It helps you transform the world.

Just As I Am is an art project currently showing at the cre8ery in the Exchange. It takes ordinary men and women of all shapes and sizes and shows the art in them.

Rodney had been at a loss for how to help our clients realize that they were not the only one with a certain body type. It wasn't until a friend of his challenged him with a story of his high school art class, that the idea came to him to create a gallery and book of images capturing the beauty and strength of real people.

This many-layered project touches on much more than body image, but it was one of the initial reasons the project came to be.

Here is what one of the participants had to say following opening night:

"I must say that I was struck nearly silent by the beautiful images hanging on those walls. Reading some of the descriptions that people wrote about themselves nearly brought me to tears in some cases. I noticed an energy in the room last night that was...what? Awe?....Reverence? Perhaps a mix of both, but it seemed almost like that hush that comes over you when you know you've entered a holy or sacred place. I believe that everyone that was there when I was there, was feeling the same things.

Rodney and Sonya, you have managed to do what should have been done a long time ago and that is to bring to light the beauty that is in every one of us. We are so bombarded with media images of thin, beautiful, "perfect" people that it's not hard to start comparing ourselves to the artificial photos we see, and soon enough we start to believe that because we don't look like them, we are ugly, fat, and not worthy of..well...anything.

I find it terribly sad that it has come to this, where we as humans have lost our ability to see our own greatness, our own beauty and our own perfection. Beauty is everywhere and your project has helped us to find that again. In the eyes of some of those photos I saw survival, healing, humour, and for some an awakening. It's like a weight has been lifted off of us. That weight of striving to be what society says is the perfect person. What we are discovering after this project, is that we are already perfect people. We are exactly what God meant us to be, in all our different sizes, colours, backgrounds and opinions. Everything about us is right where it's supposed to be, and who are we to argue that?

I feel privileged and blessed and grateful to have worked on this project with you. The changes I have seen and felt, and the emotions that your photos evoke, are something that I will carry with me for the rest of my life. I think if you ask any other participant, they will tell you the same. This has been life changing. You have changed our lives and for that we are all grateful. Thank you for showing us our own beauty and perfection. It was there all along.

Thank you, thank you, thank you."

With gratitude,

Laura (and Ella)

If accepting your body is something you struggle with, come out to the cre8ery at 125 adelaide st. and gain a new perspective.

Admission is $10. For more info, see www.justasiam.ca or the cre8ery's website.

Hours: Tuesday - Saturday 12-5 pm, Monday and Thurs. 6-10 pm

(Show closes March 9th).

Her Life Now

Thanks for the chance to share my experience since baring it all with your "Just As I Am" project. It has been a very profound experience for me, as I knew it would be. As soon as I heard about your project, I knew instantly, that I would be participating. It was that kind of knowing that comes from somewhere very mystical and magical. That part of me, that always knows what's best for me. And then, like usual, when my ego doesn't approve of my higher self's actions, a little debate started, that went kinda like this... "What are you thinking?" ..."I'm thinking that I'm gonna do this.".... "Are you nuts?" ..."Maybe..maybe not."... "You mean to say, you're gonna let someone take your naked picture, and post it on a website, and put it in an art show, and totally let go of the rights?" ..."Yup, that's what I'm gonna do."... "You can't do that..for one, it's crazy, and for another, you are too fat and too ugly..don't you know, only pretty, thin people are allowed to do that...nobody wants to see you." ..."Maybe...maybe not...but I need to see me, and so I'm gonna do it."

And there it was. I needed to see ME. I didn't totally understand that, at the time. And I didn't know how it would play out. I just knew, with absolute certainty, that this was gonna be a very profound experience.

I still remember the drive to the studio that day, and thinking to myself, "Why don't you just do a private photo shoot? Why do something so public?" But, I knew why. I knew that this was my opportunity to stop living in shame, and it needed to be big. It needed to be bigger than my shame. Bigger than this self-loathing, that I've carried around forever. And I needed to have no way to turn back. Because I always turn back. I always return to that shame. But, not this time. This time, I was gonna make sure that the only direction to go, was forward.

What a surprise the first time I saw my picture. It's not like I hadn't seen myself naked. I'm pretty much a nudist at home, so I often see myself naked. I knew what I looked like. But, something totally different happens, when you see yourself in a photo...naked, vulnerable...captured in a moment in time. You get to really see what others see. (or at least, what you think they see.) At first, all I could see was my big belly, and my fat legs, and I felt embarassed and angry at myself. How could I let myself get so big? I could have asked why, as well, but I knew why. I've always known why. Food has been my comfort...my protection...my way to keep all the bad memories stuffed neatly down. The memories that were too painful to acknowledge. The memories that have been screaming at me for a long, long time. On that day, I knew that I was finally ready to listen. Really listen...with my heart. I was finally strong enough, courageous enough, to hear the truth, that I had always known, deep inside me.

And so, that has been my experience, my work, since being in the project. Coming to terms with what happened to me, long ago, and letting it go...finally. I used to think that remembering would kill me, but the opposite is actaully true. Remembering has set me free. Holding on was killing me. It's really such a relief to have those memories out of me...to let them have air...to let them float out, into the universe, and fly away. And it's an on-going process. Some days are really rough. And some days are blissful, beyond belief. The best part is that I'm starting to feel more whole, more alive, more authentic, and more worthy of love and goodness...and I hold on to that, on the hard days. And the anger is slowly fading. The anger that has been my steady companion, for a long time. In it's place, I'm starting to feel a sense of peace and calm, and sometimes, even forgiveness and gratitude. Gratitude for all the circumstances of my life, that have helped to shape me into the person, that I am today. I would not be this person, had it not all happened...and I'm starting to really like and appreciate ME.

I still see the big belly and the fat legs, when I look at my picture...but, today, I have compassion for this body...this beautiful body that has carried me through so much, with grace and dignity. And I see other things. I see courage, and kindness...trust, and faith. I see the innocence of a little girl, and the determination of a strong woman. And I see the willingness to share myself, with the world....Just As I Am.