207

Some of you may know that on May 1^st I went out and bought a pair of running shoes with the intention of doing something good for my body.

Just over 10 years ago I went for my last run; I needed to because I was applying for a job that had a physical requirement so I trained for two weeks and did my testing….and never ran again. It wasn’t always this way, in high school I was one of the best in the city in my age group in distance running; I was lean and loved to run. Now in my mid to late thirties and 60 or so pounds heavier than in high school I felt the need to start running again.

I actually starting running for two reasons, one was that in the last year I was feeling my weight run away from me; I had put on about 20 pounds in just over twelve months and it wasn’t looking or feeling good. The second reason was that my wife was starting to get concerned with my overall health, and I was finding myself hiding health concerns from her (Always a bad sign).

My goal as of May 1^st was to lose 10 pounds in the month of may but I changed that goal after talking to a doctor friend who suggested that a healthy level of weight loss was 1.5 pounds per week or 6-7 pounds a month. As of June 1^st I now weigh 207 lbs and my waist looks and feels better as well as the side benefits of my skin looking great and heart liking me a lot more.

My first run was a killer, I think I let my left lung on the sidewalk at the 1 km mark but continued on for another 1.5 kms. Now a month later I can run 4.5 km in about 22.5 mins and I have a goal to get that time down to 20 mins.

I have learned many great lessons in the running process; put one foot in front of the other, put the other foot back in front of the first, now repeat the last two movements again, and again, and again. If Oprah and I can do it, you can too.

Have a great day.

Rodney

Rodney the Dreamer

John Lennon once wrote a rather well known song the chorus of which went something like this:

“You may say I’m a dreamer

But I’m not the only one

I hope some day you will join us…”

I feel very much like John; except for the problem of have a kajillion dollars to deal with and of course the dead thing. I too am a dreamer, I dream of a day when we all can look in the mirror and like what we see. I dream of the day when we can look at each other and instead of judging them, lusting after them or being suspicious of them we can simply look and wonder what their story is. I dream of being a lover and forgiver. I dream of a world where homelessness and addictions are a thing of the past. I dream of a world where we can all love and honour each other even when we disagree with each other… I dream of a world where I can eat Chocolate, drink Pepsi and still have a perfectly chiselled body.

If you are a little like me and have such dreams please join me in doing a few little things to change the world that we live in; you might want to start by buying our book ‘Just As I Am’, help someone who needs help, simply smile at someone, tell someone they are beautiful, tell someone something you love about them, Buy the book ‘Just As I Am’ as a gift for someone (That always makes me smile), look in the mirror and tell yourself you are special, and/or live life to the fullest.

You may say I’m a dreamer

But I’m not the only one

I hope someday you will join us

And the world will be as one.

Rodney

Joy, ache

It’s been a while since I stepped into the blogosphere and shared my heart with you all, the truth is the last few weeks as well as the last few months have been an emotional rollercoaster like I never imagined.

When I decided to do the Just As I Am project I did so out of a profound sense that a project like this was necessary and that nobody was doing it. I knew going in that the idea of nudity would be somewhat controversial but I also knew that nothing worth doing is ever easy, I just never really knew how hard it was going to get.

We set a date for this project to start almost exactly a year ago, my vision was simple, we will put out the idea that anyone who wants to come to my studio for a 10 min photo session can sign up and we will take a week off of work at the studio and put together this project. We would have an online gallery for the images and maybe a gallery would be interested in taking us on to put a show together. We made up some posters, sent out some press releases and went to work postering as many places as possible to get the word out about what we were doing, but would anybody come?? What if we took the week off and only had 1 person come? Would anybody in Winnipeg really say I believe in this as much as we did? So many questions. The next questions were just as valid, what would our families think of us for doing something they probably wouldn’t understand, and almost more importantly what would those who know our families think and how would they communicate that with the ones we love so much? Would I be ruining my career and reputation by being labelled as “that guy” that did the naked thing? How would this project affect my relationship with friends and family members, or more directly, would I lose friends over this? How would those in my church community react to this?

It’s a year later and I have a few answers. Firstly I have been able to walk with those of you who have been a part of this project as models. I have heard the pain you have felt as friends or family members looked at you with “the look” and made comments that made you hurt or cry; know that I too have felt your pain. I have also had the honour of hearing the other stories, the stories of how being a part of Just As I Am has brought healing to many of our participants, and how viewing it has brought healing to many of you who have taken the time to view this work; and my heart is filled with joy. As I stated at the beginning this has been a crazy ride for us, we have always been forced into asking ourselves over and over again how much we believe in this project. This has been a year of reading faces for me: I have seen the looks of disappointment in the faces of those I love and respect, I have seen the look of disgust in the faces of those who realize I’m “that guy”, I’ve seen the look of bewilderment in the faces of those who simply don’t get it. I have also seen the look of peace in the faces and eyes of those who finally feel “normal”, the look of victory in the faces of those who have faced their demons, and the look of healing in the faces of those who are on a new journey of self-acceptance.

Instead of this taking a week of our lives it has morphed into taking over about 5 working months away from my business. We have also had to make the decisions of how much we believe in this gallery and resulting book and in the end it has meant completely draining all of our bank accounts and signing over interest in our house and studio to the bank to produce this book. I have learnt again that God is my provider and that I’m incapable of taking care of my emotional and physical needs and in the end I feel a peace about being “all in” to a project that I’m proud to talk about.

As I got ready to go and hang the prints in the gallery I got an email that someone I’ve never heard of has sent a message to the Ellen D show telling her of the impact this project has had on her life and asking her to feature this project on her show, I’m deeply touched on a day like this to hear news like that. Thank you all for your support, I wish you all the very best in love, life, laughter and tears if need be, and I look forward to seeing you at the gallery this weekend.

Rodney

Faith, Fun and the Circus!!

I’m tired and it seems there aren’t enough hours in the day. On the bright side the sun has come out a few times in the last two days and it has been a real mood booster to say the least to see that beautiful piece of fiery goodness.

This weekend we had a family outing on Saturday, we went to the circus together and then worked on some landscaping as a family. The circus, what a feeling of electricity I felt from our kids as we walked into the big tent in the Grant Park mall parking lot. We bought “Circus” Cotton Candy, and “Circus” Popcorn , a “Circus” Balloon and a “Circus” hotdog and mini doughnuts. What was so special about the “Circus” Food, to us it was simply really really expensive but to our children it was magical. It seems I have something on my forehead that says “Pick me” because in the whole tent full of people the clown picked me to come up on stage, be an idiot and ultimately get shot backstage (My kids were more than a little concerned about that) before ultimately emerging from behind the curtain to new life and a new lease on life.

Speaking of that I have had a number of people ask me about my faith, views on faith and all the rest of that mumbo jumbo so I will take a moment to let you into the deepest part of my being and share with you where I am at.

Firstly, I’m not a terribly religious person in that I define religion as a list of rules to follow to appease the Gods or God. I do however have a deep faith and here it is:

I believe that God loves me (and you) and has a plan for my (and your) life.
I believe that I (and you) have missed the mark that God has set out for us, and are therefore sinful and separated from God.
I believe that God sent his very own son Jesus die on the cross 2000 years ago to bridge the separation between us and God.
I believe that God gives us the opportunity to either accept or reject the gift of his son and thereby accept or reject the opportunity of having a relationship with him (although God is not a boy or a girl, history has generally given God the Masculine words like he, him, his) should we choose.
To put it another way, Dad just wrote us a check for a million but the money isn’t actually ours until we decide to deposit the check or cash it.

As a Christian I don’t somehow feel as though I’m any better than anyone else because I’m not, I have simply chosen to ask for forgiveness for my many imperfections. I have also been asked how as a Christian I can do the type of work I do at Eve Studios or the types of projects I do such as Just As I Am. The answer is a simple one, when I look at the universe around us and the world in which we dwell I see such incredible beauty everywhere I look and I feel as though God is the ultimate artist. I also look at the body that God created and marvel at the beauty and complexity of it and quite frankly feel as though it is the ultimate slap in the face to God to not appreciate and capture the beauty of the human body and spirit.

I know this is sort of the readers digest version that I’ve just given you but when it comes right down to it faith is not nearly as complex as many make it, God’s biggest command is “to love the Lord your God with all your heart and all your mind and all your strength; and to love your neighbour as yourself." I feel as though if we all lived even a little bit like this the world would be a much better place.

I hope this answers some questions, if not, call me up and set up a time to bring me a beloved Pepsi and we can sit down and discuss anything that’s on your mind.

Love you all,

Rodney

Just As I Am Project

Well it seems to me that the job of artists in society tends to be to shed light on issues that we face on a daily basis; and given the description that I just gave I would propose to you that Jerry and the cast of Seinfeld were in fact the artists of the century for the 20th century. I draw a lot of inspiration from the light-hearted jokesters in that they seemed to fearlessly bring into the open things that we all thought and were afraid to say while making us laugh about it. As I develop as an artist I have found that it is in fact very difficult to do what Jerry did, it is hard when you feel the judgment of those around you to stand up and do what it is that you think is right or to say what needs to be said.

Just over two years ago I received a phone call from a friend, one of the best and most influential friends I will ever have. Tim is an art teacher in a Christian school in BC and on this particular week he had taken his grade 10-12 art students on a trip to the local art gallery as he was prone to do a couple of times a year. Tim described the experience as they went through the upper floor of the gallery and saw some wonderfully inspiring “Christian” art, that is beautiful water colors and landscapes but then to his horror as they went down into the lower gallery they were hit straight on by a cartoon character in full frontal nudity doing something very derogatory. Tim decided it was too late to turn back and proceeded through the gallery with his students electing to spend some time with them afterwards discussing what they had seen and their thoughts on it.

“Why was there nobody who looked like me in there” was one girl’s response, “They were all perfect bodies.”
“Why are there no Christians doing nudes in art” asked another girl.
“I didn’t feel uplifted in any way from what I saw” stated another.

Art has the power to change our lives, as long as we as artists come at it not as “how can I shock the viewer” but rather “how can I open up my soul or the soul of my subject in such a way as to touch the soul of the viewer.” I have never had the pleasure of going to Europe, but those that I have talked to who have seen the David or the paintings within The Sistine Chapel both of which were created by Michelangelo say that seeing these works literally takes your breathe away. What is it about beauty and the body that is so inspiring??

David the Israelite king whose appearance Michelangelo was trying to capture said in Psalm 139 “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful,” I don’t know about most people, but growing up I didn’t feel wonderfully made; I was a skinny awkward kid who never felt comfortable in my own skin. The terms “Bone rack” and “beanpole” will probably haunt me all of my life, and now as an adult I feel as though most of the time I am a beanpole with a big lump in the middle where my thundering abs should be, my chest too small an undefined, shoulders too droopy and arms too spindly; again I feel more fearfully than wonderfully made.

For the past two years I have been thinking about the project of photographing art nudes of anyone who would come in to stand in front of my camera and be photographed “Just as they are” but as is often the case I have spent the last two years in fear of how a project like this would be viewed and so put off doing it. This past year has been a great and hard year for me as Sonya and I have been working on Eve Studios a studio which focuses on building self esteem in women through photography. I have been deeply hurt by the stories I have heard from some clients as they struggle through the question of “Am I beautiful”, and hearing the stories of hurt and pain that many of our clients have held on to for years and decades for some. On the flip side I have had a number of clients who have come in fully confident that they are beautiful and very comfortable with their appearance, and in these cases I have felt immense joy. I have seen incredible beauty in clients of all ages and shapes and can honestly say that they are Fearfully, Wonderfully and Beautifully made.

Just As I Am is a project where anyone from 18 – 118 can come and have 10 mins of photography time to bare their souls as well as their bodies and come to the place of saying this is me, Just As I Am. I ask only a few things of those who wish to be involved, Please bring ID that proves your age, please either write a sentence or two or come with a phrase or two that you feel describes who you are. I welcome men or women to come alone, but also encourage them co come as a couple if they want, or to come as a group; but if you want to be a part of touching the lives of others and in fact be touched with the beauty of who you are please sign up for a timeslot and be part of the healing process.

Rodney